The distance from our head to our heart

The distance from our head to our heart

AIGA-head-heart-hand In general I am much more of a “heart” type person than a “head” type person . An action person, someone who feels things deeply and strongly, and I don’t think I would ever be accused of overthinking something…I tend to move pretty quickly. Most of the time. I am “feeler” not so much a “thinker.”

Without action the picture we get of love is so incomplete, lacking and very confusing. I am trying to move towards action in meaningful ways, not necessarily huge ways – but in small ways that matter, being ok with dying to my own desires or plans or whatever, in order to love others well. Maybe to bite my tongue and give a hug rather than give my unsolicited advice, and offer yet one more time a better way to do something. Maybe I could actually help my kids clean up their rooms instead of complaining about how long it takes them. Or maybe it’s going out and having fun and laughing when I am tired and exhausted and cold just want to lay on the couch under 15 blankets. Action. Instead of getting caught up in the frustration, ideas, or the “shoulds” in my head. Sometimes I sit in my head and stay there for a good long while, shutting down the action and the heart behind what is going on.

I want to set an example for the little girls who God has entrusted us with to show them what love looks like. How there are lots of pieces to love. And it’s not just as simple as someone saying “I love you,” which can be great. But that isn’t all to the story, it’s a bigger and more beautiful and complex story than just saying words. I want them to have high (incredibly high!) standards and know that they deserve to be loved well, cared for and that they matter. The other side of the coin is, obviously, that I want to show them how to do this. I want them to learn how to be a good friend and maybe a great wife and mother someday. Someone to whom loving others comes easily and naturally.

I hope it is a joy for them, to show love,  and I hope I show them how love is so much more than just a thought or some words, instead, how it is about action- it’s not passive or lazy or even easy all the time, but powerful and transforming when done right. I want to be a heart person.  If we are to be known by how we love, then I want to make sure and make that a big deal, not just something I do cognitively, but that is a part of who I am and what I do.

Growing in Malibu

Growing in Malibu

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The past year has been a big transition. Learning so many new things about myself, about how to practically live life here and about our little family and how to best serve them- and about a million little things in-between. I have noticed that there are a lot of things I do OK…or at least reasonably well, but transitions aren’t one of them. Stepping into & living in the unknown is scary for me. It brings out all the ugly stuff that most of the time I can either pretend isn’t there or at least have the common decency to cover up…all of it. Out. For everyone to see. It’s lovely. My husband is super lucky.

But for all the difficulty, I would say this- transitions force growth. I have grown in a ton of different ways that I never would have expected before moving to Michigan. I have grown as a wife, a mom, a leader and an employee. Growing isn’t relaxing though. This is what happens when one lives outside of their comfort zone, I think. It forces me to look at and think about and work through things I would most of the time rather not and be happily distracted with other things. Pretty things. Fun things.

Derek has an expression that is often said around our house these days…”you don’t grow on the beaches of Malibu.” I am not sure where he heard this- whether it was a wise friend or one of the many podcasts he listens to or a class he has taken…But I get it…In the same way great sailors aren’t made in calm seas, right? So, yes, I get it. But here is the thing. I would LOVE to LIVE in Malibu (literally and figuratively), pretty much every part of me would. Should I check on flights? I smile more when I am in SoCal. I enjoy sunshine & being warm and being tan. AND there is a reason the real estate is what it is…It is desirable, there is no denying that. There is something about relaxing and rest that is good for us & needed.

So here’s what I have come to terms with and understand for myself, and this season and Malibu. I want Malibu. I want a rest and comfort, although I know that I am not entitled or even called to that by God, necessarily. But after hard seasons, some time on the beach, with toes in the sand and faces in the sun sound pretty great. I am trying to bring pieces of that into our daily lives here…fun, excitement, joy and lots of laughter whenever possible. Let me tell you, this is no easy task for me in the 68th week of winter, but I try. And I know there will be a Malibu season coming, sometime.

The Oscars 2015

The Oscars 2015

The Oscars are one of my favorite fashion/ entertainment events all year. In the past we have thrown parties (any reason to celebrate is fine with me) and I usually live-tweet the red carpet. Fun stuff. I will get to the fashion shortly, but first. Can I just address the fact that the show was super boring…a snoozer and quite frankly, a disappointment. I’m not really sure what went awry, but something in the “formula” for this night needs to change, quickly…AKA let’s get Jimmy Fallon hosting next year.

Ok, rant over. Let’s move on to the fashion portion, shall we? I would say it follows the same trend as the show though…

Naomi Watts. So, it’s interesting and different…I like it. I looks a little yoga/workout type clothes on top, but it works.

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Rosamund Pike. Get it girl. She came dressed to win. She looked nice & beautiful, good for her.

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Margot Robbie. Ava’s favorite from the evening, with the red lips, blonde hair and statement necklace she won over my girl in a moment. It’s super unfortunate about her terrible looks and bone structure, isn’t it?

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Reese Witherspoon. Oh, hi Reese! After what seems like a comeback year she looks great. The dress is great, she looks beautiful, but in all honesty, I’m not WOWED.

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Jaime Chung. I love this firework dress. I would wear it in a heartbeat and I like her overall styling. Simple, but beautiful.

Lupita Nyong’o. She came in a dress of pearls, friends. AND it worked. Well, she worked it. I posted last years dress that was stunning as well- this girl has taste and knows how to wear beautiful clothes beautifully.

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In all honesty I was hoping to see this dress or at least something like it…right?? That is way better to me than NPH running around in his undies. But, seriously…Amazing, right? That would have been a moment.

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Ok so those are my thoughts on the matter…If you are still wanting more here are a few fun things…Enjoy :)

Here’s an Info-Graphic (?) about some of the best dresses worn by some of the icons.

Here’s another little dealio showing what the best actress winners have worn…I remember a lot of these dresses, I think it’s like when my husband remembers really great football plays or something…

That’s all from me…Anything I missed? What did you think?

I hear it snowed in Vegas & it’s frigid here, so stay warm, friends!

Best of the Golden Globes 2015

Best of the Golden Globes 2015

150111193603-43-golden-globes-red-carpet-0111-super-169 72nd-annual-golden-globe-awards-arrivals-11421021125_golden-globes-441rs_634x1024-150111161147-634.Ellie-Kemper-Golden-Globes-Red-Carpet-011115 mgid-uma-video-mtv.com-1157978 feypoehler julianne-moore-600x450 54b313e348de990f767631da_golden-globes-2015-jennifer-lopezWelcome to the best of the 2015 Golden Globes, as decided by me. :) I hope you enjoy.Let’s start the discussion with a surprise. Jenna Dewan. It is an unusual color & the dress has some great lines. Her overall look is awesome- love the simple hair style. The pic where Channing is watching her pose is pretty sweet, right? kate-beckinsale-brightens-up-the-golden-globes-2015-red-carpetWarning! We are now entering the metallic dress zone…Cheesy I know, but it’s true. Check it out. Julianne & Ellie Kemper looked  sophisticated & gorgeous in their interesting metallic dresses. I’m a fan. Amy & Tina killed it, per usual.  I love them always & forever. I think my favorite joke was how George Clooney was getting the Lifetime achievement award after listing off his new wife, Amal’s many significant accomplishments. Well done, ladies. In my head we are bests- in the least creepy way possible. Back to the dresses…Really beautiful. JLo looked great. Really beautiful and flattering and good for her, I just felt like it was a bit much, but she looked incredible. There were a lot of honorable mentions…Greer Grammar (Miss Golden Globe) I loved her blush & gold dress. It lit up on stage, as did a lot of the dresses that looked OK on the red carpet looked dramatically better while on stage. Anna Kendrick in a sweet princess-y type dress. Kerri Washington (another great on-stage dress), Chrissy Tiegen, Sienna Miller in a white dress w/ a deep V, and great blonde bob…The list goes on.

Let’s just acknowledge Blake Lively and her strong pregnancy/maternity game. She has officially set the bare impossibly high. To her I would say congrats on hitting the genetics jackpot.

MAIN-blake-livelyThis is the first installment of the 2015 awards season. It was a lot of fun, looking forward to what else is in store (@cbareman on the twitter). And now I am off to shovel my driveway…I can hardly stand the glamour of it all. Happy Monday, from the Clooney’s! chinews-george-amal-clooney-speak-20150111

a few thoughts on running.

a few thoughts on running.

My first half-marathon is in the books. And surprisingly, I LOVED it. Before the training the most I had ever run, really, was like 5 miles. I enjoyed the training process, thanks to my training partner. I can’t say enough about how much I truly enjoyed it & will miss that training time together. So good. So thankful for it & for her.

And the race was no different, we did it & talked pretty much the whole time…well, once I was able to process what was happening. It was a lot to take in. (She had done the race last year though, so she was like my own personal guide- I asked so many questions that day…Where are we going? Where are we? How long is this tunnel? Is this really Canada? Are we going to see people puking? They don’t really put stuff in the water do they? )Sunday morning was a little crazy and slightly overwhelming for the first few hours. It was the middle of the night & I was eating oatmeal & was surrounded by thousands of people & was freezing cold. That was the hardest part of the day for me, I was totally & completely overwhelmed. Once the actual race began things were looking up.

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It was still dark when we began and the sun was rising and in its glory as we crossed the bridge into Canada. Beautiful. Also chilly. Who knew Windsor was so cute? And so close? Clearly, I still have a lot to learn about living in Metro-Detroit…I think the lack of knowledge worked to my advantage though during the race- everything was new & exciting, so it was a really nice distraction and constant visual stimulation.

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I am no good at passing people & I would get stressed out when I felt like I was in people’s way. It was like being a concert and everyone is trying to elbow their way to the front…kinda stressed me out, but I think that is just the reality of running with almost 20,000 people. Elbows are going to fly, that’s just part of the deal.

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We finished in under 3 hours and felt pretty good. That’s a win in my book.

This is why I wanted to run. To help bring clean water to people who are essentially forgotten about by the world- and they had no access to clean water. Such a basic need. Something I totally and completely take for granted & feel entitled to. As a mom I can’t imagine not being able to provide clean water for my family.

So that is why I ran. If you would like to contribute towards raising funds for the Pokot and getting them clean water you can go here. I would love your support! The goal is $1,000 and I would love to surpass that :)

There were so many powerful moments that day & leading up to it. I am still processing and reflecting on them. I am so thankful I was able to be a part of it. I hope to do another race or two pretty soon…I am thinking maybe the Zion Half Marathon and/ or something at Disney. Any recommendations?

Were you at the race Sunday? Anything else you would add?

standing out

standing out

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In a couple different ways, I have been having this conversation…about people wanting to live differently. Wanting to live big, beautiful lives that require making significant changes & taking big risks. They have a strong sense that there has to be something more than what we are told to…jumping through the hoops, hitting the benchmarks, doing what we are expected to do.

And I believe there is more. Absolutely.

And I believe that we are meant to live differently. To look different, to stand out.

But it’s hard, it’s hard to go against the grain, to disappoint people, to appear to be irresponsible for the sake of something that may not be able to be fully explained. It is hard to subscribe to the dreams of our heart and chase them fully, while letting go of what has been prescribed to us by society. To live outside the box, and be ok with that. To take a leap into uncertainty.

I want to give permission and encourage people to stand out, to look different. We are taught to be good soldiers and responsible, and that is great, but it can limit us. We begin to accept and settle. Status quo becomes enough and we can forget that little feeling, maybe that little urging voice…a whisper about what could truly be, not what should be.

a few of my favorite quotes deal with this…

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

― Howard Thurman

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

–‘A Return To Love’ (1992) by Marianne Williamson (often credited to Nelson Mandela)

I want my girls to dream big dreams & to be courageous enough to chase them. To not be scared about meeting expectations, I would much rather them create the life they believe God has called them to. Let’s not play small. Yes, we are meant to shine and give others the permission to do the same.

VMA’s & Emmy Fashion Re-Cap

VMA’s & Emmy Fashion Re-Cap

Let’s start with The VMA’s.  Wow. I didn’t watch, but I checked out the red carpet online…the theme (as it usually is for this show) is lots of skin and sparkly.

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In short, here are my faves from the night…Admittedly, this show isn’t really my scene- at least as much as the other awards shows & the older I get the truer that statement is.

*side note, one of my favorite bloggers went, Hollywood Housewife. And she looked awesome.

 

Ok, on to the Emmy’s. Yes, let’s do that.

 

Sarah Hyland looked stunning- everything was spot on. Beautiful.

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Anna Gunn. I will always cheer on Skylar. She looked amazing last & this year was on point again. Relatively simple, but she looked happy & the jewels & color were a really interesting combo.

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Julia Roberts. The queen. Forever.

Again, I will always cheer her on. I like the idea of this dress and she looks really great, she’s not 20 year old, people. Go pretty woman! And the smile- still beaming. In my head, I think we could be friends, we both like to laugh. A lot. I’ve had friendships built on less. Anywho, she looks fab, right?

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Camilla Alves.

This is the classy version of what Jlo was trying to do. Stunning, unique, GORGEOUS. I’m not sure why she isn’t grinning ear to ear…whatev. Look at Julia…Camilla always looks great though, congrats on having wonderful taste & bone structure Ms. Alves- McConaughey. You win. 

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I mean, really? Things could be worse. SMILE.

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Anything I missed? Who were your favorites? Best/ most awkward  moments (think John Travolta & Idina Mendzel) ? Or things worth talking about? 

Let me know! I meant to watch the red carpet, but somehow ended up a sweet playdate with my daughter. I think I made the right choice, we played at the park & then went to the mall (per her request). We visited the Disney Store & Claire’s (she is getting older!! And she was about 30 seconds away from getting her ears pierced!?!).