fireworks

Blowing Stuff Up & Editing Things Down

As I have been processing and praying and thinking about my life there are some things that need to be changed. Some things I don’t have room for, some things I have outgrown, but they still follow me, and some things just need to be blown up. All of this in an effort to make room. Maybe even allowing some empty space, room to breathe and grow and just be. It makes me smile to write that, to imagine that.

I want to carefully examinen pretty much everything- how I spend my time, what I think is important, what we spend money on, how we parent and ask some tough questions. I would love to figure out the place that writing holds in my life.And be willing to make changes as needed. I am ready to disappoint people and do things different and the get the side-eye, that’s fine. I’m cool with it.It’s more important to me to move ahead coming from and heading towards a place of health. I want to take a look at ideas, ways of doing things, and obligations that I have bought into over time with fresh eyes. I want to blow some things up…I am so ready for that. I feel it in my bones and my heart.

I have pretty much always believed that more is better, with a few exceptions of course, but overall- to have more is to be better off. And I am not sure that is the truth. To have more things requires a lot. There is the upfront cost, then the physical and head space it takes up, then there is the managing, cleaning, moving, maintaining aspect of it as well. It’s exhausting. And I think I am over it. So I hope to do some editing. Some picking out what I love and what is needed and doing away with the rest. Trying to live a life that is more aligned with contentment rather than consumerism. And I want to model this for the little ones sleeping in the room next to me- I want for them to see that my happiness doesn’t just come from pretty things, although those things are certainly great & fun, but that life is wonderful even if we don’t have EVERYTHING. In fact, life can be better.

And why do I feel the need to share that? Great question. So glad you asked. Well, I think that I might not be the only one who is ready for some changes. I hope this is more hopeful than rant-y. Either way…fireworks are the best. Blowing stuff up can be beautiful, and I look forward it.fireworks

 

2015: Byeeee

The past 2 years have been tough and great- lots of growing, learning and healing.  Like most people I didn’t realize I had all that much to grown in, learn about or heal from, but wouldn’t you know it…I certainly did. And still do. Progress.

I would say that I am finally experiencing the beauty and freedom that comes from healing and forgiveness. For handing over the weight and anger and clenched teeth and hijacked thoughts that comes with holding a grudge. Which is something I am really good at.

Heading into 2016 I am in a really great space mentally & in my heart. I feel good and hopeful. Excited after a tough year. Great, but tough. Being pregnant for most of it and the parts I wasn’t pregnant I had a newborn- so easy. And learning to navigate all kinds of new things…blah, blah. I am excited for this next season for me and for our family. It was full one, lots of stuff- most of it great, albeit not easy or comfortable.

I love NYE. Eventually I want to get to a spot where we host a fancy dress-up type party with friends, complete with champagne and fancy food, classy music and lots of celebrating. That is not in the cards this year, and that is fine. This year we will be celebrating with a 6 year old, a almost 4 year old and 3 month old. And there is so much to celebrate. When I stop to think about it, I am overcome with thankfulness. So, so much to love about our season of life right now. I can almost breathe in the sweetness.

But, I love also NYE because I love a new beginning. A clean slate. A fresh start. Dreaming, praying and planning. Making lists and discussing hopes for the coming year. Some of which will hopefully get accomplished, while others will stay on the list for next year (getting a 6-pack of abs, for instance, I imagine).

I am not sure about the future of this little blog. I am reimagining it a few different ways, but also dreaming about other things, so I don’t know…We’ll see, I suppose. In the mean time, enjoy these last hours of 2015 and I hope you can look ahead with joy and excitement at 2016.

Much love.

 

Half- Thoughts

I feel like I have a lot of time lately. Or I should have a lot of time. Hudson sleeps a lot, mostly during the day, but that leaves me with some time. And I love to write and think, but mostly my thoughts lately have been a little anxious or incomplete. And also, I need to shower and try to clean up our diaster of a house.

I think it may be due to the sheer volume of things I am thinking about it is hard to complete ONE good thought and then write about it in a sensible way. Keep in mind there is also sleep deprivation and hormones at play. It’s weird.

So half-thoughts are the best I can do right now. So here we go…hang on, we are going to cover a lot of ground, friends.

  • I will be posting about Hudson soon. Needless to say. I am in love with our new little guy. He’s AMAZING, as babies are. And I am thankful beyond words for him. I want to take some time and do it justice.
  • I am thinking about doing a weekly/bi-weekly email to the followers of this blog… I will make it worth your time, promise!
  • I have been doing some reading & writing lately in between cuddling my boy and trying to get some sleep. It’s been an interesting season. Having time is such a gift and I am so thankful for it.
  • I have a bunch of ideas for the blog and writing (parenting, God moments, what I am learning, etc.), and am excited to share, but all in due time, I suppose.

So that is all for now. I will try to stay up on this a little more…

Much love :)

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A season of change

This summer (since January, actually) has been a season of change. In a week Ava will be in Kindergarten. In two weeks Bell will be in Preschool and we will be having a baby soon. Lots of change.

As I picture Ava becoming a big kid and heading off to school all day I keep thinking about all the things I probably should teach her that I haven’t yet…Some of these are pretty simple or not that big of a deal. And then there are the bigger things, that aren’t just learned from a quick conversation in the car. Glennon Melton shared this a while ago as her son was going back to school, and certainly I don’t think I can put these things better than her.

I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I am so excited for Ava & Bell, for them to experience all the fun that comes with going to school. Learning and growing in so many ways. I am also nervous about them navigating new situations with friends or teachers or kids who are not friendly. And I am so keenly aware of how quickly this precious time has gone by and I imagine that will only continue.  Speeding up as our calendar and lives get busier and busier. Yay for independence, but maybe let’s slow it down, just a little. These girls will never be this age again, this season is beyond sweet and I pray that it continues to move in that direction.

So we are hoping to squeeze every last drop out of this last week…finding adventures to be and memories to made. Thankful for a summer of sweetness in the midst of change.

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a few of my favorite things

Oprah, I am not. But, I have no shortage of opinions and favorite things and love to share them…To be clear, I am sharing my opinions not, giving away these things. That would be pretty sweet. Here is a list of a few things I really like/am enjoying right now. Feel free to share your favorite things…

Hosts Chip and Joanna Gaines in the Erwin's newly remodeled kitchen, as seen on HGTV's Fixer Upper.

  1. Fixer Upper. I am super late to the game…I think I may have watched a few parts of a few episodes last year, but never really got into it… or at least, not like I am now. I think I would say this is my favorite show at the moment. Chip & Joanna are so sweet and talented, it is so fun to watch them interact & to watch a house transform from a nightmare to a dream home. Also her taste is incredible.
  2. Sorta Awesome. This is a great, positive, fun and light hearted (for the most part) podcast. I found it via Hollywood Housewife, (one of my favorite blogs) she is a regular co-host. They talk about all kinds of things that I think most women and especially moms can relate to. Also the theme song is pretty great for a random dance party- Ava loves it.
  3. Another fun podcast that I have been enjoying lately (although it hasn’t updated for the past 2 weeks) is The Mystery Show. I first heard about this on Sorta Awesome (see above) and I really like it. Starlee Kine solves people’s “mysteries” and it is really entertaining & interesting. I remember hearing her on This American Life (always a favorite!) and loving her voice, style and perspective. It’s a fun blend of finding out people’s stories and laughing at Starlee’s observations.
  4. Enough about podcasts (although I could talk about them for a VERY long time). Let’s switch to the ever-nearing arrival of baby #3. There are a few products I am excited to try. First off- Honest Company. I haven’t been disappointed yet & the customer service is pretty great. With Bell we did diapers and have slowly been switching over our household products (cleaners/bath stuff). Again, I could talk about this for a long time…
  5. Target has come cute blankets & bibs– if there is one thing I am a total sucker for it is blankets, especially ones with adorable prints.
  6. I can’t decide between the two of these…Petunia Picklebottom is what I got with the girls & I still get a lot of complements and love the bag. It has taken a beating though- there is glue from some crafts gone wild and the fabric is a little worn, so I am thinking I may replace my old one with one of these…Beautiful right?
  7. Last but not least- check these bad boys out…Pig Pig Organic Boppy Covers…My favorites are the Feather, the Star & the Triangle one. Again, it’s like the blanket thing…I could get all of them, but they are not cheap…but they are really, really cute. This kid may not have a college fund, but he will have cute things. #priorities

So that’s all I’ve got for now! Happy last few days of summer (YIKES!)

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Summer at a glance

This summer has been an adventure in a lot ways.

  1. We moved. We are still in Metro-Detroit, but we moved…and moving is almost the worst. Not quite, but really close. Thankfully we had amazing help from Derek’s mom & gma, and he was incredible. Now we are slowly, but surely putting together our home and unpacking bit by bit.
  2. Being pregnant. So, yeah. I am about ready to be done, but our little guy could use some more time to grow, so I am good with that. But man. It is no fun to not feel well or be side-lined. I am really excited to feel somewhat normal again and to meet our new babe!
  3. Our vacation. Last week we were planning on spending some time together up north, we really look forward to this time. However, about 30 minutes before we arrived a huge storm, with tornado type winds came through and devastated the town we were going to be in. A tree fell on the house where we were supposed to be staying. It was surreal. So we scrapped what we had imagined the week looking like and decided to have a blast doing some other fun activities and making sweet memories in other ways (playing at the beach, time together with family). It was a total win, much credit to everyone involved for the flexibility and good attitude.

Now we nearly half-way through August. I am racing to get to get Ava signed up for Kindergarten and all that comes with that (school shopping, paperwork), Bell signed up for Preschool, and awaiting the arrival of a new baby.

I am trying not to count this summer as over, to try and squeeze out the last few drops of what it has to offer. Maybe we can sneak in a few more camp fires, a movie, and maybe a last adventure or two.

A lot going on, but all of it is great. Truly thankful.

The Third Trimester

I am in the third trimester of my third pregnancy. So basically my ninth trimester- that seems about right.

This pregnancy has been an “adventure” in many ways. It’s been a lot harder and more uncomfortable than the other, certainly. But tomorrow I will be 33 weeks…light at the end of tunnel, friends.

**If you are a man and still reading this, I am impressed. I am aiming for more of a social commentary than a biological one, although, I can’t make any promises. It’s just the way it is, sorry.

I am not sure if it because I am carrying a little guy, but things seem really different this time around. Pregnancy, in general is a pretty bizarre experience. It is a great time and first peek into motherhood…essentially losing vanity and comfort right off the bat. Comfort and normalcy take a back seat to utility and functionality. These are not bad things, but they are not easy things, and they start sooner than one might expect. And conversations during the third trimester ebb and flow between awkward, encouraging and slightly offensive. And it doesn’t help that I am super aware of how I look, but one can only cover up so much…Also, hormones don’t help the situation.

All in all though, I am thankful for a healthy pregnancy. That the little guy who is growing inside is strong and by all accounts seems very active and healthy. This has been my pretty much constant prayer since January. We are all excited to meet our little man – hoping he waits for a few more weeks, but after that- I am very open to him making an early appearance.